Let Us Be True To One Another
by flootzavut
Summary: Written for the NFA WEE 2014. My prompt was to write a story based on the poem Dover Beach. A triptych of episode tags from the first two seasons exploring the idea of family and being there for each other in difficult circumstances.
1. Left For Dead

_Left For Dead_

* * *

"We gotta do something, boss."

Gibbs gave him a look. "Have you ever made a mistake, Tony?"

"According to you or me?"

"You."

A moment's silence. "Yeah," he answered, reluctantly.

"Could anyone make you feel better?"

There was a longer pause this time. "No."

They stood for a few moments more, and then Tony shrugged a shoulder resignedly and walked away.

"My door's unlocked," Gibbs called after him.

"I know."

Gibbs had to smirk just a little at the response, then turned back to Kate. Shellshocked and tear stained, she looked nothing like the confident, competent agent she'd slowly been growing into over the weeks and months.

_Could anyone make you feel better? No._

It was true. Kate had messed up, badly, and there was no use sugar coating it - but that didn't mean you shouldn't try to do _something_, if you could. He fished out his phone from his pocket and hit speed dial.

It was answered before the second ring.

"Abs?"

"Hey, bossman, what's up?"

"Got somethin' I need you to do for me."

* * *

Kate had more or less given up on trying to convince the EMTs she was fine. It would be more effective if she'd actually believed it herself, but somehow she didn't think anything they could do was going to fight the self doubt and recrimination in her mind.

Ringing in her ears, a possible concussion, those things didn't bother her too much. She'd had worse. They wouldn't last forever. Allowing herself to be duped, allowing a murderer to kill again? That was so, so much worse.

She'd been willing Gibbs or even Tony to come say something to make her feel better. DiNozzo had split as soon as he could, and she wasn't at all surprised. Gibbs had stared at her awhile, but then he'd taken a call on his cell and she'd quickly lost sight of him. She figured he had probably wandered off, wanting to get away from the racket of vehicles and people. She couldn't much blame him for that, even though she felt a little like she'd been deserted.

Admittedly, she wasn't sure there was anything he or Tony could have said or done to make her feel better. There was a knot of guilt making itself at home in the pit of her stomach, and she felt like a fool. Not a feeling she was used to. Even if Gibbs had been the type for touchy feely heart to hearts (and the very notion almost made her laugh despite herself), there was no conversation they could have that would erase her mistake or the consequences.

The chaos around her had abated a little. Maybe now was the time to make a break for it, while the eagle eyes of the medical personnel were focused elsewhere. She got up, wincing as bruises made themselves known. She wasn't even sure if she was in a fit state to drive, or where her keys had got to, but she would worry about that when she'd escaped to her car. At least getting away from her immediate environs would be a respite from the noise and commotion, give her a chance to get her bearings. And she thought, hoped, prayed that that would be a good thing.

* * *

In the aftermath of an explosion, with casualties and debris and emergency personal scattered all around, Kate suspected that for once she was the only one who noticed Abby pulling up in her bright red hearse. Usually it was the centre of attention wherever Abby drove it. Today was not a 'usually' kind of day.

Kate stopped short in the painful trek to her car. Abby usually didn't come out to crime scenes, either, so far as Kate knew. _Weird_._  
_

Abby bounced out of her car, all legs and pigtails, and as soon as she saw Kate she charged up.

"Are you okay?" Abby demanded. She scanned Kate's face, then enveloped her in a hug, which Kate gladly accepted.

"I'm all right, Abs. Really, I'm fine."

Abby released her and then studied her face again.

"You don't look too good, Kate."

Kate shrugged a shoulder and bit back a grimace. _Gotta love painful honesty._ "I'm okay. Shouldn't you be, I don't know, collecting evidence or something?"

Abby tilted her head to one side, pigtails swinging, and grinned suddenly. "Nope. Not here for that."

Kate frowned. Admittedly she'd just survived a bomb blast, which had left her head feeling decidedly scrambled, but... "What?"

Abby slipped an arm around Kate's back, leaned down and whispered, "I'm on a mission from Gibbs."

The conspiratorial tone and the way Abby waggled her eyebrows got a laugh out of Kate, to her own surprise, and she allowed herself to be led towards the hearse. It was nice to have someone to lean on. Now that the adrenaline had thoroughly worn off, she wasn't just sore, she was exhausted.

Kate hadn't really got Abby figured out yet: between the devotion to science and the fascination with mysteries, the goth looks and the cheerful demeanour, she was like no one Kate had ever met before.

One thing that was for certain, though, she had a good heart, and the way she got Kate sat down and gave her a candy bar and some water, chattered reassuringly about nothing in particular, wrapped a coat round her... well, Kate found that she was starting to feel a little less awful.

"Thanks, Abs. For looking after me."

Abby stopped mid ramble to grin brightly at her and squeeze her shoulder affectionately. "Hey, what's family for?"

Kate blinked, and then smiled back. "Family?"

Abby nodded. "Yup. You're one of us now, Kate. We look after our own." She winked. "It's a Marine thing."

"It's a- what?"

"Gibbs," said Abby simply, as if that explained everything. Which it probably did, thought Kate, if you'd been at NCIS long enough. _I guess I didn't get deserted after all_. It was a whole different world from her Secret Service days. _Thank God._

Abby leaned in to give her another hug. It was kind of awkward with the car's doorframe in the way. Abby, who was already tall and wearing those ridiculous platform shoes, practically had to bend double. But nevertheless, it warmed Kate to her bones.

When Abby straightened up, Kate sighed. "I guess... I should probably go home. If I can find my car keys."

Abby put her hands on her hips, frowned, shook her head decisively. "Home? No, Kate, you're coming with me."

"I am?"

Abby counted out the reasons on her fingers, and her voice started to take on an unfamiliar fierceness as she spoke.. "One: a possible concussion. You can't drive, and you shouldn't be on your own. Two: Gibbs' orders - and also the fact that he's right, by the way. Three: you're... You're my friend, Kate and if you think I'm just going to- to let you go home alone after such an awful day, then-" She shook her head again. "Well, then you're _wrong_, okay?"

Kate gaped. Abby shrugged, and looked a little embarrassed. "Okay?" she said again, her tone a touch softer.

Kate nodded. "Okay."

"Yay!" Abby clapped her hands like an excited kid. "You _are_ gonna be okay, Kate, I promise, all right?"

Kate found herself smiling again as Abby fussed around her like a doting granny, and then got into the driver's side and coaxed the hearse into life. As they drove away from the scene, she let Abby's words drift over her.

She would be all right, she realised. That knot of guilt wasn't going to get unwound in one evening, there were no magic words to make her feel better, no way to erase her error in judgement or the effects... but she had family. She had friends. She didn't have to do this alone.

Yes. Abby was right. She was going to be okay.


	2. Heart Break

_**spoiler alert: this tag contains small sort of spoilers ish to the season 6 episode Broken Bird**_

* * *

_Heart Break_

* * *

"Caitlin."

Kate looked up, startled. 'Get over it' Gibbs had told her, and she probably should, but she wasn't even sure she could bring herself to try. Did she want to become the kind of person who could shrug off taking the life of an innocent man? Really?

Still, she had turned this over in her mind too many times already, and she was grateful for the interruption. "Hi Ducky." She managed a smile.

Ducky's eyes flicked over to the now closed autopsy drawer and then back to her face. His expression suggested that her smile wasn't very convincing, but at least she was trying.

He laid a hand on her shoulder. "Caitlin, it wasn't your fault."

Kate nodded. She was sure her nod was about as convincing as her smile had been. "I know."

She did know. Somehow that made no difference at all.

"Oh, my dear." Ducky squeezed gently. "You mustn't take the weight of the world on your shoulders. That isn't your job. You were protecting your partner from an armed man."

"He was just a kid, Ducky. A kid who was made miserable by his father then his superior officer, and he had done nothing wrong..." She looked down at her feet. It felt wrong to accept the sympathy in Ducky's eyes.

He sighed deeply. At least he wasn't telling her to get over it. He let go of her shoulder and shuffled over to his desk. Slowly, gathering his belongings, he began to speak, and Kate had the strangest impression that he was talking to her almost as if she were a body lying on one of those cold metal tables - a listener who would take a secret to her grave.

"... I was with the Royal Army Medical Corps, stationed in Afghanistan. In a refugee camp that was rife with pain and despair, fear..."

As she listened, Kate wondered why he was telling her this.

"Terrible things happened in that camp, and for quite some time I was not privy to the worst of it. There was a man..."

She really couldn't figure out how this was supposed to make her feel better. Or even if it was meant to help - had Ducky forgotten she was there?

"Javid. I will never forget his face. He had done nothing wrong, and yet..."

She had to admit that there was something oddly comforting about listening to Ducky ramble, even if she couldn't figure out what the point was-

"... and so I took the morphine and I killed him."

Kate's head snapped up, and she could feel herself gaping with surprise. "Ducky- you- you did what?"

"I killed him, Caitlin, because I saw no alternative. I could see him fading, see the wounds in his hands suppurating, the infection that had resulted from the torture, and I could see no other way out. But I still took an innocent life." His eyes were shiny with unshed tears. "So, you see, I do understand. More than you realised."

Kate stared at him a few moments longer, wondering how long he had kept this secret, whether he had told anyone else. She felt strangely touched that he had relived it, relived his own pain, just to try and comfort her.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about this, Caitlin. I trust you can keep an old man's secret. It's a painful memory and not one I'm proud of, or that I speak about, even to Jethro."

She nodded mutely. He hadn't even told Gibbs? Even if she had wanted to, she had missed too much to be able to tell the story to anyone, but this was Ducky. Of course she wouldn't... "Of course, Ducky. I won't tell."

Ducky nodded, smiled a little wanly, then picked up his hat. "Now, my dear. I don't suppose you like the ballet?"

Kate blinked, and he smiled a little more widely at her evident confusion.

"No matter, no matter. I shall ask Anthony, maybe it will help him find a date for the evening."

Kate was getting more confused by the second. "I'm sorry?"

"Caitlin, would you allow me the honour of buying you dinner?"

His courtly manner was so old fashioned, so gentlemanly, the offer so unexpected but so very Ducky, that she couldn't help but smile back at him. She hadn't wanted company, but then she really didn't want to go home on her own either, so...

"Actually Ducky, that would be lovely... and thank you."

He smiled one of those impish grins that made her forget his age for a moment. "It will be my pleasure." He offered her his arm and led her towards the elevator. "We must first make a stop in the bullpen, and then I shall introduce you to a charming bistro I discovered in Georgetown. They make the most delicious borscht I've eaten outside the former USSR. Tell me, Caitlin, did you ever hear about the time I ate borscht at the Kremlin with Gorbachev...?"


	3. Witness

_Witness_

* * *

Kate was doing paperwork, getting caught up, even getting a little ahead of herself. It was sensible, good practice, she'd appreciate it next week. There was always another case that would devour any free time they pretended they might get.

But that wasn't why she was still here.

Tony had given McGee a squeeze on the shoulder, and before going home an hour later had caught Kate's eye and given her a meaningful look. It had made Kate smile to herself that, while Tony wasn't ready to give McGee any outward sign of it, he was making sure to look out for his partner. One day he might even admit he thought of Tim as a friend. Kate had a feeling it might take a while, but she was sure it would happen. _Eventually_.

She could almost feel McGee agonising over his words as he composed the sympathy note. They might sit at opposite corners of the bullpen, but it was as if she was watching over his shoulder. She kept seeing him frown out of the corner of her eye, and she wanted to go over, encourage him, maybe give him a hug... but she knew in her gut that this was one of those things he needed to do by himself. All she could do was stay, be company, a silent presence, be there if she was needed.

Tim was more or less part of the team now, and besides the sometimes irresistible urge to haze him, it was easy to forget he was the new guy, except on days like today. He hadn't yet developed the necessary callouses to do this job without letting it eat at his humanity and his sanity. And in this case... Kate had found out through painful experience why Gibbs had instigated rule 10, but she'd never been as personally invested in a case or a witness as Tim had been this time.

Watching him out of the corner of her eye, Kate wondered when she'd become so inured to the tragedies they saw on a daily basis. Then again, maybe she wasn't so hardened. She made herself turn back to the computer with a little grin and a shake of her head. Here she was hanging around for hours just in case her teammate needed a helping hand or a sympathetic ear. Maybe she wasn't quite so jaded as she sometimes felt.

She heard Tim sigh, tap a few more keys, and then the printer whirred into action. She saw him retrieve the letter, sign it, then... sit. Staring at the sheet of paper in front of him.

Kate watched for a couple of minutes. When it stretched to five, she started to get concerned.

Work forgotten, she fidgeted in her seat, trying to figure out how long was too long for Tim to sit there brooding - how long she should wait before she got really concerned, before she did something.

Eventually, after another couple of minutes (which felt more like half an hour) she decided enough was enough.

She got up and made her way slowly across the bullpen. McGee didn't seem to notice, even when she was standing right by his desk - practically hovering in a way she usually left for DiNozzo. But Tim still just sat, staring at the letter, transfixed.

Tentatively, she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"What?!" He jumped, and Kate flinched, and they ended up staring wide eyed at one another. Tim looked like he'd seen a ghost: Kate figured she looked much the same. In a different situation she might have laughed that they'd managed to startle each other that way.

"Sorry." Scaring the crap out of him really hadn't been part of the plan.

He shook his head. "No, no. It's okay. I was just... I didn't see you there." He looked back down at the letter on his desk. "I guess I was distracted."

It was hard to know what to say. Kate tried to remember the times when she'd been at the other end of the situation... no, words really didn't cut it, but she didn't know what else she could offer. "Erin's death was not your fault, McGee."

She could see his jaw working as he struggled with idea.

"I know we hate admitting DiNozzo is ever right, Tim, but he was today. We did the job. We caught the bastard."

He nodded mechanically, and it was clear that while he could hear her, the words weren't sinking in. Kate perched against the corner of his desk and turned his chair towards her so he couldn't avoid eye contact. "It wasn't your fault. It really wasn't, Tim."

"Then why do I feel this way?" His voice cracked.

"Because you're not a robot. Because you're a good person." Kate put a hand against his cheek. "Tim, it wasn't your fault. And you don't have to go through this alone."

"I don't?"

"You have us, Tim. You have people who love you, who'll look out for you."

He reached up self-consciously to brush a tear off his cheek.

Kate leaned in to give him a brief hug. "You'll always have us, McGee." She made him look at her again, and put all the conviction she could muster into her words. "We look after our own."

He nodded, then took a deep breath that looked like it took all the effort in his body. "Thanks Kate. I'm..." He shook his head. "Thank you."

Kate straightened up. "Now come on, McGee. You haven't eaten-"

"I don't know if I'm in the mood, Kate."

She grinned. "Take out. I'm paying, I'll take you home. I'll even leave after you've eaten if you want me to."

He looked sceptical.

"Just don't tell Abby I said that, okay?"

That made Tim grin. It was only brief, but it was the first real smile she'd seen from him since Erin had been killed. It was hope. "I promise." He turned back to the letter and touched it, fiddled with the edge of the paper. "I just-"

Kate put a hand over his. "Tim, there are no words you can write that will bring their daughter back or ease the pain of their loss. What matters is that you tried. They'll appreciate it." She gently slid the letter out of his reach, folded it, and sealed it into the already addressed envelope sitting neatly by the monitor. _Ever the Boy Scout._ She slipped it in his jacket pocket and tapped it. "We'll post this first."

He sighed, then nodded, resigned. Kate went back to her desk to gather her belongings.

"Kate?"

She glanced back over her shoulder at him. "Yeah?"

"Thanks."

She grinned. "You're welcome, McGee." A thought came to her and she smiled at the memory. "You do what you have to for family."

Tim looked surprised, then turned a little pink, and then smiled again and this time it didn't disappear so quick. "Okay."

Kate nodded, satisfied. Yes. Tim was right. He _was_ going to be okay.


End file.
